Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Making Relationships Work - Haiti Brings Us Together Once Again

Our hearts are heavy. We have all watched in horror as the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti unwinds leaving a catastrophe for survivors and aid works to comprehend and work through. And now, we witness the real courage of the families left without news or closure as they wait for news of their loved ones.

There are some that believe we as people have become immune and desensitized to horrific visions of injuries and death. After watching the events unfold in Haiti, that statement can no longer be true. We have been forced to watch and endure the pain of the families and orphaned children left behind and feeling the agony of families as they helplessly watch this unforeseen tragedy unfold.

It has been joy and happiness on one hand when survivors are found. And then grief and sorrow when hearing the news there were no survivors at some of the search locations. Our hearts ache at public outcries to aid workers to look here or there and in doing so, that life is not found. We view our television sets with incomprehension as we observe the mass graves and hear stories of the smell attached to death.

The little girl, Anika we watched as her rescuers freed her from the concrete that held her captive with one of her legs caught underneath as it also subsequently dealt the fatal blow that would take her life the next day. Anika's family called her the pride of their family as we all watched in disbelief of her death. We as silent voyeurs watched and in silence grieved with her family for their precious lost life.

Brittney, from Massachusetts one of four missing in Haiti, we watch as her dad pleads for the President to rescue his daughter. His pleas are our pleas. His anguish becomes our own silent anguish as we watch him question her whereabouts and safety. We reach for him to comfort his pain as only strangers can do through our thoughts and prayers.

There are reports of a number of the elderly and abandoned that because of their location and plight they do not have access to the food and water being dropped where most of the survivors are located. We watch as the survivors from the earthquake run towards the aid as the weak and elderly remain behind as nothing more than a faded memory as they are left to fend for themselves.

Those left behind could have been neighbors, family or friends, no matter they have been forgotten because after all it is survival of the fittest. Those that can save themselves with unabashed selfish abandonment for those who couldn't walk nor run to obtain the nourishment and water they need to survive as they lay patiently waiting for death to claim them.

Sometimes when remembering how it takes a group effort to conquer obstacles, we often hear the African proverb, it takes a village. We have proven this to be true by gathering our five and ten dollar bills and creating millions. And, by working together we all provide aid in an attempt to save a country, to save its people, the injured, the hungry and thirsty, and the dying.

Some have made light of the Haitians misfortune wanting to attach negative beliefs that their plight is about sin, politics and race. Despite the rhetoric we as people have transcended the criticism. When tragedy strikes the divisiveness that separates our nations ceases to matter. This catastrophe and others before it is still an overpowering reminder that we are our brothers' keeper.

So we come together again as we have in the past as one with the sole purpose of helping others, something that brings the best out of all us. At one point while rescuers are working, the Haitians emotions overflows and with unsuppressed anticipation, they begin chanting, "USA! USA!" as another survivor is found and removed from the ruins of their city.

This collective body of people, doing what they do best helping those in need no matter the location or devastation as they give of themselves unselfishly. We can afford to beam with pride that we are Americans despite our differences, we are Americans. More articles from this author can be found at http://www.makingrelationshipswork.net.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Current News - Do You Like to Argue But Hate to Lose?

Some news articles really excite me while other articles make me upset. For example, this morning there was an economic article about job losses in America. The article said that there was a net loss of jobs in December 2009, which was a bit of a surprise to economic forecasters. I was not surprised by this current news. Last month, in November, when the job loss situation improved significantly there were a lot of journalists projecting the beginning of an improved job market going forward. The economists who issued the statistics in November warned against that kind of optimism and recommended a wait and see approach. That made sense to me; hence I was less surprised by the December backslide into job losses.

The point is, news is emotional stuff. What happens is the news sets off a whole network of memory associations, and these associations produce an emotional reaction. My memories of the economists' warnings in November allowed me to feel dismissive of the journalists optimism and therefore not surprised by December's job losses. On the other hand, if you have no knowledge or memories about a news item then you can only process it intellectually, there are no emotional memories involved.

So skip forward a few hours and find me in a discussion with my son about the employment report. He was disappointed and argued that the numbers were merely a seasonal oddity. He didn't remember the November statistics or the warnings to "wait and see." At any rate, I didn't want to argue with him or make him feel worse about an already disappointing situation, but to myself I just noted the process. Since I had a memory reference, my emotions were brought into play rather than just reacting to current news.

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